Finally manage to break the silence between us by taking the initiative to ask you how you're doing, and I must say I'm really glad that you aren't angry with me because of what I said to you the other time. I bet you don't know how much effect your words have on me. Somehow I'm just really that sensitive when it comes to you - whether it's the things that you say, or the things that you do. Your words made me wonder if you were actually thinking of me as much as I was thinking of you, and if you were paying attention to me on my SNS just to check on me to see if I'm doing okay. As usual, the things that you said got me thinking once again. And as usual, you saw through me almost straightaway. At times, your words are the ones that brings me strength to keep me going, you know? That's how important they (you) are to me.
"Don't think so much and look forward and you will realise how time flies"
I really missed you calling me stupid. It felt as though we were back in the past. *calling me stupid when I said that my GPA wasn't good*
"You need to learn to be less paranoid" "And don't overthink"
"That's why must make the effort to improve yourself" "No one is born a certain way"
"Don't always restrict yourself to whom others say you are."
And when I said that 我长大了,you said, "Wah wah" "You say one ar. Make sure you prove it to me. It means maturity, which means emotional stability" Somehow this sentence really got to me. It felt as though you were trying to tell me something.
But then again, you told me not to think about the past. So maybe it's just me overthinking again.
"Good that you are thinking more. You can be emotional, but know how to overcome it."
What I didn't really understand was, why would you ask me to tell you all that I'm feeling if we're really through? And then I realised that you said this to me before, "I want to know what you're going thru" So I guess it's not because of any lingering feelings that you have for me, but more of the thought of wanting to help a friend... (or a sis?) You once said before, that I will never be forgotten by you, and that I'm someone important to you. But I guess it's not in that kinda way, but as a friend... (or a sis, once again) Oh well. What am I expecting? I shouldn't be expecting anything. Furthermore, it's not like I didn't get together with anyone after you. It just made everything even harder for us, to get back together or anything for that matter. We can barely even hold a conversation without any awkwardness.
I'm so tired of all these. So damn tired of thinking about it all day long. But I really can't help it at all. All I want right now is for school to start so that I'll be kept busy and hopefully it'll help keep things off my mind for a little bit. But what I want even more is to have a proper good sleep. It's been so damn long since I've last gotten a good quality sleep. Maybe it's because of my troubled soul...
想你的夜。Goodnight.