"You can't recapture and relive a moment that you lose to worry or frustration or negative thinking. You can't go back and say 'hey, I did that wrong, and now I really want to enjoy myself." No, Sagittarius, it doesn't work that way. Once you waste your time wallowing in worry and regret you can't undo it. You have to live with the loss. There is an answer, though. Instead of putting yourself in the position to regret the loss of a potentially wonderful moment, remind yourself that you won't be able to undo it. Live to the fullest, with no regrets."

Well... I guess this paragraph of words really strike me hard. It felt as though someone out there is answering to all the questions that were flying about in my head. Those words that are in bold seemed to be the answer that I needed, and it really hit me hard. Especially this, "You have to live with the loss." Yep, I knew that, because all these while I've been living that way. But what really made me realise that I may have to move on instead of holding on, was this, "remind yourself that you won't be able to undo it." It speaks for itself, doesn't it? It's asking me to let go, because it's too late to change anything, isn't it?

People always say, "Live life to the fullest with no regrets." The older I get, the more I realise that it's practically impossible to live a life with no regrets. Because with every choice we make comes regrets. And life, is all about making choices. Now, I'm supposed to make a choice, yet again. Whether to hold on, or to let go and move on. I guess many will tell me not to be stupid, just let go and move on since it's been so long. But why don't you guys try thinking about it from my perspective? If I was able to let go and move on, I would've done that long ago. What for bother making myself suffer, right? The thing is, I realise that I can't. I can't let go. I thought I've had already let go and moved on, but this is definitely not the case. I've been lying to myself all these while - all I did was to let time try to ease my pain a little and try to bury whatever that I was feeling deep down within me in my heart.

People always say, "Time will ease you from all the pain." But nope, that's not true. Not true at all. Because if time were to ease me from all that pain, it'd have been gone long ago. "Maybe you need more time?" Nope, I don't think so. Because it's been a few years. If time is really what I need, how much more time do I need before I can truly recover from this? Another 3 years? Another 5 years? Or another 10 years?

People always say, "Maybe it's the memories that you're missing, not the person." Well, it may be true. That was what I've been asking myself almost everyday. But did you realise, that the person was the one who made those memories together with you, in order for it to become a memory? It may be the memory that we are missing, but when it comes to the feelings that we feel, it certainly has to be because of the way how that certain someone is capable of making us feel. True?

I guess it's just another late night post where I simply pen down what's really going on in my mind... Perhaps it's just me getting more and more drifted away from my sanity. I don't know. I really need to get you off my mind. Please let me off, will you? Stupid brain. Please please please stop thinking of him... :-(

"And in the end, what's left are only regrets due to the chances that we've never had the courage to take."