Can't believe that Year 1 has ended just like that. 1/3 done with Poly life already, lol. Sigh, don't really know what to feel right now cos I think my results are gonna be pretty bad this sem... Really just hoping that my GPA will maintain and not drop. So much for hoping that I'll be able to pull it up, lol. Now that I think about it I can only give myself a sarcastic laugh.

Anyway. Life sucks so much right now. I really don't know what ZH wants from me. Why can't he just leave me alone? What exactly does he want from me? I'm starting to get really annoyed with him right now. And of course, knowing that I'm not the only one that he does this to makes me feel kinda less special, lol, but that's fine. Somehow it kinda surprises me that he no longer means that much to me anymore. Like that special place in my heart is no longer where he exists anymore. Maybe that's because someone new has taken over that place... idk. I'm starting to get really sick about affairs of the heart. It's just too confusing, too complicated, too tiring, for someone like me. I can never understand it. Perhaps I'm still too young for it. Perhaps staying this way with GH will be the best for us. I really don't know what I want either, so I guess it's best for things to stay this way in case I mess things up again, like how I always do.

But honestly, I've never feel this comfortable with anyone before. So maybe he's really all that I need? Or maybe not. But either way, I've gotten myself a really, really, really good friend. Nope, a best friend. And sometimes I can't help but to wonder how life would've been if I didn't get to meet him and know him. I feel so damn blessed to be able to have such a friend like him :')

There's really nothing more that I can ask for in life now, because I'm actually counting my blessings every single day. But yea, good times don't always last. That's why I'm afraid of being happy, because I'm afraid that I'll lose it.

I guess if it's meant to be, it'll be. I shall leave it all to fate :-)