My holiday has officially ended. Am I depressed? Yes. But I'm glad that the first day of school has been a whole lot better than what I've had expected it to be. Barely had any lessons today bcos it's the first day of school I guess, so mostly it was just about an introduction to the different modules. And I was punctual today!!!!!!!! YAY. Hopefully it will lasts throughout the whole sem, lol. *cross fingers*
Had such a good sorta catch-up sesh with #CodeG over brunch cos F and YX have been so busy with GL trainings during the holiday that we didn't even have the time to meet etc. After class, A and I actually joined them to lepak around in the CLS clubroom. Didn't regret going bcos we kinda had fun there. Everyone was friendly, and I kinda liked that :-) oh, I ACTUALLY AM THE CLASS REP FOR THIS SEM. HAHAHAHAHA. (FREE CCA POINTS YAY) but nope, being a class rep seems to be quite tough zomg. Hopefully I'll be a good class rep :-(((
Anyway this is just a short update lo. Nothing much has been going on in my life also lol. Okay la I'm just very tired now and I have no idea why since I didn't do much today zz. Shag much? Can't imagine what's gonna happen once lessons start proper. GG.com sighpie. But yay lesson starts at 12pm tmr. Going all the way to school just for lab briefing................... wow. Guess I should start adapting back to school in this week since there's like nothing much going on for this week. Shall sign off now, and go shower. Then I can watch my Running Man while waiting for my hair to dry before I sleep. Sure KO one. Freaking tired zz no joke I swear. Kkkkkkk byebye.
- And the saddest thing of all, is knowing that your relationship with a certain somebody has changed drastically, because somehow or another, you guys have become distant; and there's absolutely nothing that you can do at all, because things are no longer the same. That feeling, my friend, really sucks. -
|| People change, like the seasons do.
Saturday, 18 April 2015
I should really stop drinking coffee at night. Had Starbucks earlier on after dinner with AS, G and EH and here I am now, wide awake again. This is bad :-( bcos I have to wake up early later zz to go and tuition my kid :-( sigh. Anyway, since the caffeine in my body is keeping me awake, I shall update a bit.
Been feeling kinda depressed ever since the new timetable came out. I know that in one of my previous posts I said I was looking forward to school reopening. But now? ........I really am not anymore :-( life sucks. I forgot which idiot told me that Year 2 timetable is supposed to be more slack. So not, please. How is having lessons from 8am-6pm almost everyday slack??? I'm fine with having long hours in school, but how can we only have 1h breaks? :-((( brain's gonna be so damn dead man, I can feel it already lol. And worse still, having no breaks on Wed......... thanks to lessons from 10am-3pm straight. Fml, seriously. So not looking forward to school reopening now, but sigh, I'm only left with 2 days :-( look at the number of :-(s there is in this post and you know how depressed and sad I really am, hahaha.
So yea. Life as a Year 2 student is about to start and I'm super unprepared for school... Oh, orientation for the freshies has ended too. Hope to get more chances to interact with them since so far I've only got to see them during DBS induction day.
Okay, I should really sleep. Hopefully I can wake up on time later. Goodnight~
Been feeling kinda depressed ever since the new timetable came out. I know that in one of my previous posts I said I was looking forward to school reopening. But now? ........I really am not anymore :-( life sucks. I forgot which idiot told me that Year 2 timetable is supposed to be more slack. So not, please. How is having lessons from 8am-6pm almost everyday slack??? I'm fine with having long hours in school, but how can we only have 1h breaks? :-((( brain's gonna be so damn dead man, I can feel it already lol. And worse still, having no breaks on Wed......... thanks to lessons from 10am-3pm straight. Fml, seriously. So not looking forward to school reopening now, but sigh, I'm only left with 2 days :-( look at the number of :-(s there is in this post and you know how depressed and sad I really am, hahaha.
So yea. Life as a Year 2 student is about to start and I'm super unprepared for school... Oh, orientation for the freshies has ended too. Hope to get more chances to interact with them since so far I've only got to see them during DBS induction day.
Okay, I should really sleep. Hopefully I can wake up on time later. Goodnight~
Wednesday, 8 April 2015
|| Food connects us. It brings families and friends together, and makes us happy.
Had a really good catchup session with AS, G and EH yesterday over dinner and indeed, food has the ability to bring people together! It's been years since I last saw EH, like ever since she graduated from GM? I thought it was gonna be awkward for us but nope, the catching up was all good!
Catching up with old friends make me look back on my secondary school days. And of course, there will always be a tinge of nolstalgia but to be honest, those were the days that I'd never want to go back to, because those were my inglorious days, lol. But let's leave it as that; I shall not go into further details because I don't think that there's a need to. After all, I believe everyone has had a past where they did things they wished they hadn't. So yep, I'm no exception too. I'm human, so I do make mistakes. I don't get why some people are always so eager in pinpointing others for the mistakes that they make when they themselves make mistakes too, lol. But I guess I'm finally able to accept my past as how it is and not feel that ashamed of it anymore, which is a good thing I suppose?
Coming to think of it, I started realising that those whom I still keep in contact with are mostly friends whom I've met through my CCAs. It's funny how they are the ones whom I'm closer to now, instead of my classmates since we don't get to spend as much time together. We only get to meet like once or twice a week in school(?), as compared to my classmates whom I get to see and spend time with everyday. Haha, oh well. I guess this is how life works. And I guess that's how fate works. It always turns out that the ones who are/will be there for you when you're at your lowest are those whom you've never expected them to be.
As I grow older, I think that time may not always be the best measurement for things. Friendships, relationships, hobbies, in fact for anything. But I still do believe that what comes easy will end just as quickly. I don't know, maybe it's just me?
Finally got to watch Insurgent and yep, it was really pretty good. Definitely better than Divergent! But I don't think it's as nice as how everyone is saying it to be? Maybe it's because all the positive things that I've heard about the movie has made my expectations even higher. Like they always say, with expectations come disappointments. True that, haha.
Gotta stop drinking coffee at night! It's been keeping me awake and preventing me to get the sleep that I need. Pffft. Only got to sleep for 3h plus last night and I was so tired till I fell asleep on the train ride home. But when I got home I tried to nap and it was an utter failure. Shall nua all day in my bed tomorrow since it's finally a stay-home day after going out for a few days consecutively hehe. That's all for today~ my mood seems to be better now, yay!
Had a really good catchup session with AS, G and EH yesterday over dinner and indeed, food has the ability to bring people together! It's been years since I last saw EH, like ever since she graduated from GM? I thought it was gonna be awkward for us but nope, the catching up was all good!
Catching up with old friends make me look back on my secondary school days. And of course, there will always be a tinge of nolstalgia but to be honest, those were the days that I'd never want to go back to, because those were my inglorious days, lol. But let's leave it as that; I shall not go into further details because I don't think that there's a need to. After all, I believe everyone has had a past where they did things they wished they hadn't. So yep, I'm no exception too. I'm human, so I do make mistakes. I don't get why some people are always so eager in pinpointing others for the mistakes that they make when they themselves make mistakes too, lol. But I guess I'm finally able to accept my past as how it is and not feel that ashamed of it anymore, which is a good thing I suppose?
Coming to think of it, I started realising that those whom I still keep in contact with are mostly friends whom I've met through my CCAs. It's funny how they are the ones whom I'm closer to now, instead of my classmates since we don't get to spend as much time together. We only get to meet like once or twice a week in school(?), as compared to my classmates whom I get to see and spend time with everyday. Haha, oh well. I guess this is how life works. And I guess that's how fate works. It always turns out that the ones who are/will be there for you when you're at your lowest are those whom you've never expected them to be.
As I grow older, I think that time may not always be the best measurement for things. Friendships, relationships, hobbies, in fact for anything. But I still do believe that what comes easy will end just as quickly. I don't know, maybe it's just me?
Finally got to watch Insurgent and yep, it was really pretty good. Definitely better than Divergent! But I don't think it's as nice as how everyone is saying it to be? Maybe it's because all the positive things that I've heard about the movie has made my expectations even higher. Like they always say, with expectations come disappointments. True that, haha.
Gotta stop drinking coffee at night! It's been keeping me awake and preventing me to get the sleep that I need. Pffft. Only got to sleep for 3h plus last night and I was so tired till I fell asleep on the train ride home. But when I got home I tried to nap and it was an utter failure. Shall nua all day in my bed tomorrow since it's finally a stay-home day after going out for a few days consecutively hehe. That's all for today~ my mood seems to be better now, yay!
Tuesday, 7 April 2015
|| "Learning to choose is hard. Learning to choose well is harder. And learning to choose well in a world of unlimited possibilities is harder still, perhaps too hard." —Barry Schwartz, The Paradox Of Choice: Why More Is Less
Happen to stumble upon this quote and basically, this is the quote to sum my life up. Every time when a choice has to be made, somehow, I'll just end up making the wrong choice and end up with regrets of many sorts. And it sucks. It really did. But what to do? Such is life. I believe I'm not the only one who feels this way. And of course, I believe many have made wrong choices at certain points in their lives. Personally, I really hate choices. If given a choice, I'd rather not be given the chance to choose at all. But I'd like to believe that every wrong choice that was made was for a reason, and that somehow I'll still be brought back on the right track. I guess the universe will take care of that and so it's not something for me to worry about.
Anyway, I've been thinking so much again lately lol. Brain ah brain, why are you always so active at the wrong time? Please don't be like this once school starts, because I don't have the time nor energy to deal with your bullshits. So yea. A and I seem to be talking about life pretty often lately. Prolly because we're both not doing very alright I guess? But of course, she's having a much tougher time than I am. What I'm experiencing now is nothing compared to her. Hopefully she'll be fine. Okay, there's no reason for me to not believe that since she has always been able to 看得开. I guess that's really quite important.
I have so much to say about this world. This freaking paradoxical world that we live in. How unfair this world is, and how unfair life can be. But then again, nothing is ever fair, isn't it? Such is life. It's just like how it takes 2 hands to clap. Likewise in a rs, it takes 2 people to start one, yet it only takes 1 to break it. And of course, the other party has no choice but to accept it. Because what's the point of trying to stop the breakup or cling onto the other party when his/her heart is no longer with you? It's pointless. So yea, life's never fair lol. There's just too much pent-up anger and grudges that I have and hold against this world. There are just so many things that I don't understand, and I guess I never will, until the day I die.
Why were we born if we are all going to end up dying someday? Why do people cross paths and end up going on separate ways again? Why do friends and lovers end up being strangers at the end of the day? Why is it that someone is always the one that is giving more, and ends up being the one getting more hurt than the other instead? Why... why... why????!!!!! I know that these are questions that no one can answer, so I'm not expecting any answers. But is this what life is really all about? That people come and go? That nothing ever lasts? That nothing is forever? That the amount of effort that's being put in is never the same? That one always ends up giving and suffering more? Nights like these really makes me hate this world. These thoughts are making me feel so damn useless about myself because I'm just someone who exist with several other billions of people in this world. Pathetic, isn't it? That my presence and absence means totally nothing at all. That the world would not stop spinning just because of me. That I make absolutely no difference at all. People always say that our destiny is being held in our own hands, but is that really true? I don't think so. Because some way or another, I believe that our lives are being controlled. By someone, God, or whoever, or whatever that you believe in. For me, I don't know who that is. I'm still trying to figure it out, but I believe that someone controls us. Maybe that's why people say that everything happens for a reason. Yea.
Lol okay time for bed. Enough with all the ranting. I'm sorry, but I just had to. Then again, what am I apologising for right? It's my blog; it's my space after all. Hopefully I'll be able to sleep with all these thoughts being tangled up in my head. Goodnight, you ugly world.
Happen to stumble upon this quote and basically, this is the quote to sum my life up. Every time when a choice has to be made, somehow, I'll just end up making the wrong choice and end up with regrets of many sorts. And it sucks. It really did. But what to do? Such is life. I believe I'm not the only one who feels this way. And of course, I believe many have made wrong choices at certain points in their lives. Personally, I really hate choices. If given a choice, I'd rather not be given the chance to choose at all. But I'd like to believe that every wrong choice that was made was for a reason, and that somehow I'll still be brought back on the right track. I guess the universe will take care of that and so it's not something for me to worry about.
Anyway, I've been thinking so much again lately lol. Brain ah brain, why are you always so active at the wrong time? Please don't be like this once school starts, because I don't have the time nor energy to deal with your bullshits. So yea. A and I seem to be talking about life pretty often lately. Prolly because we're both not doing very alright I guess? But of course, she's having a much tougher time than I am. What I'm experiencing now is nothing compared to her. Hopefully she'll be fine. Okay, there's no reason for me to not believe that since she has always been able to 看得开. I guess that's really quite important.
I have so much to say about this world. This freaking paradoxical world that we live in. How unfair this world is, and how unfair life can be. But then again, nothing is ever fair, isn't it? Such is life. It's just like how it takes 2 hands to clap. Likewise in a rs, it takes 2 people to start one, yet it only takes 1 to break it. And of course, the other party has no choice but to accept it. Because what's the point of trying to stop the breakup or cling onto the other party when his/her heart is no longer with you? It's pointless. So yea, life's never fair lol. There's just too much pent-up anger and grudges that I have and hold against this world. There are just so many things that I don't understand, and I guess I never will, until the day I die.
Why were we born if we are all going to end up dying someday? Why do people cross paths and end up going on separate ways again? Why do friends and lovers end up being strangers at the end of the day? Why is it that someone is always the one that is giving more, and ends up being the one getting more hurt than the other instead? Why... why... why????!!!!! I know that these are questions that no one can answer, so I'm not expecting any answers. But is this what life is really all about? That people come and go? That nothing ever lasts? That nothing is forever? That the amount of effort that's being put in is never the same? That one always ends up giving and suffering more? Nights like these really makes me hate this world. These thoughts are making me feel so damn useless about myself because I'm just someone who exist with several other billions of people in this world. Pathetic, isn't it? That my presence and absence means totally nothing at all. That the world would not stop spinning just because of me. That I make absolutely no difference at all. People always say that our destiny is being held in our own hands, but is that really true? I don't think so. Because some way or another, I believe that our lives are being controlled. By someone, God, or whoever, or whatever that you believe in. For me, I don't know who that is. I'm still trying to figure it out, but I believe that someone controls us. Maybe that's why people say that everything happens for a reason. Yea.
Lol okay time for bed. Enough with all the ranting. I'm sorry, but I just had to. Then again, what am I apologising for right? It's my blog; it's my space after all. Hopefully I'll be able to sleep with all these thoughts being tangled up in my head. Goodnight, you ugly world.
Monday, 6 April 2015
I swear thanks to the course that I'm studying right now, I've successfully managed to overcome my fear of needles and blood because in order for us to go for our internships, we have to be immune to Hepatitis B - which I'm sadly not immune to. Thanks to my poor immune system, I had to undergo 3 vaccinations and 2 blood tests (pffffft). And for goodness sake, the vaccination for Hep B is NOT cheap at all!!! One jab costs about $45? And the blood test costs $25. So yep, you can do the math yourself. I used to really really REALLY hate injections and all. But now? Not anymore. I'm glad that I'm able to overcome this because I'm gonna be dealing with needles and blood very often in this course, so thank God for that. And alas, I'm done with all of these stupid jabs!!! I swear I've never gotten so many jabs before in such a short span of time ever, in my life. I've never been able to watch myself getting poked by the needle, but today, I actually watched the whole process and I even recorded it on snapchat HAHAHA. #achievementunlocked I guess? Give me a round of applause for my bravery please! (I'm really damn proud of myself okay even though it is no biggie but apparently for me it is so please bear with me *inserts laughing emoji*) so now all that's left is just to collect my report from the clinic and then submitting it to my lecturer! YAY. But hopefully I'm immuned la hor? Don't think my immune system is THAT lousy to fail me even after the 3 vaccination jabs lololol. (But if really fail then I nothing to say already. Just... YOU SUCK, IMMUNE SYSTEM)
Supposed to go and collect my pay today and drop by WH's workplace after that but thanks to the sudden heavy rain, I decided to go tomorrow instead. Since I'm meeting AS and G tomorrow too. Been long since I last seen them, hehe. Pretty excited. Oh, and I totally forgot that I have to go back to school on Wednesday lololol. Guess I'm really excited and am looking forward to Wednesday because I'll be watching Insurgent! With GH somemore hehehe. Hopefully things will go fine ah. Okay, I think it will.
Sigh, although a part of me wants school to start soon so that I will be back to being busy again, now that there's only 2 weeks of holidays left, I actually feel pretty sad. Because I'm gonna be back to being busy again!!! Anyway, I'm just super glad that none of us got separated from each other because those from Stage A who chose MedTech ended up being in a class together hehe. Just waiting for my new timetable to be out... please let it be good!!! No shitty lesson timings and long breaks pleaseeeeeeeee. Oh, and I haven't finish watching Healer yet :-/ no feels to continue watching it. But I love the male lead so damn freaking much! He's like hot and cute at the same time (how is that even possible right?!?!?!?!) hahahaha.
Okay la, time for me to go and watch my shows. Loving my lepak days~ :-) Oh, and I have a new favourite quote now! Shall sign off with it~
|| "Where there is love, there is life." -Gandhi
Supposed to go and collect my pay today and drop by WH's workplace after that but thanks to the sudden heavy rain, I decided to go tomorrow instead. Since I'm meeting AS and G tomorrow too. Been long since I last seen them, hehe. Pretty excited. Oh, and I totally forgot that I have to go back to school on Wednesday lololol. Guess I'm really excited and am looking forward to Wednesday because I'll be watching Insurgent! With GH somemore hehehe. Hopefully things will go fine ah. Okay, I think it will.
Sigh, although a part of me wants school to start soon so that I will be back to being busy again, now that there's only 2 weeks of holidays left, I actually feel pretty sad. Because I'm gonna be back to being busy again!!! Anyway, I'm just super glad that none of us got separated from each other because those from Stage A who chose MedTech ended up being in a class together hehe. Just waiting for my new timetable to be out... please let it be good!!! No shitty lesson timings and long breaks pleaseeeeeeeee. Oh, and I haven't finish watching Healer yet :-/ no feels to continue watching it. But I love the male lead so damn freaking much! He's like hot and cute at the same time (how is that even possible right?!?!?!?!) hahahaha.
Okay la, time for me to go and watch my shows. Loving my lepak days~ :-) Oh, and I have a new favourite quote now! Shall sign off with it~
|| "Where there is love, there is life." -Gandhi
Friday, 3 April 2015
Decided to start on a new drama today even though I just finished Kill Me Heal Me yesterday. You know the feeling that you get after you completed a drama/ book? That emptiness, that void in your heart that doesn't seem to be able to be filled again just because the story has ended? Yep, that was what I was feeling yesterday after completing the drama because it was simply too good. Gotta admit that it's been one of the best dramas that I've watched. Ji Sung's acting was really good. He's awesome man. Guess it's gonna take quite some time for me to get over this show. The OST is so freaking good too! I can't stop replaying 'Hallucinations' on my music player. I even set it as my ringtone now HAHA. Some crazy obsession that I have there. So yep, I started on Healer today because I had nothing else to do besides watching drama. Been staying in front of my laptop for the whole of the past few days just because I was chionging my drama. Okay, didn't really chiong chiong but still, I finished KMHM in like what, 3 days? Guess I'll prolly finish watching Healer by like Sunday or something, since I've already finished 5 episodes for now.
Anyway, I feel kinda stressed up even though there's nothing for me to be stressed about. Weird, isn't it? But I guess I'm prolly stressing over whether to quit Marathoners or not. I really wanna start working, if my timetable permits, because I wanna make my dream of travelling to places that I wanna go come true. And in order for that to happen, I have to work to earn enough money before I have the ability to do so. If I'm to take up a part-time job while schooling, it's gonna be draining and taxing enough. I don't think I'll be able to commit to my CCA... which is why I have thoughts of quitting. Actually this isn't the first time since I've had thoughts of quitting. But I didn't. And I know the reason why. Because CCA is the only time we have together. If I'm to quit Marathoners just like that, I wouldn't get to see you anymore. And it makes me reluctant and unwilling to quit just like that. But I no longer find trainings enjoyable... So I really don't know what to do. Sigh. Sometimes I wonder why I wanna make myself so tired from all of these. I guess what I really need is a getaway. After all, running away from everything is what I do best. There are so many places in the world that I wanna go, that I wanna explore. I don't wanna be trapped here in this tiny place which is only represented on the map by a little dot for the rest of my life. I believe there are many more things out there for me to see, for me to feel, for me to experience and for me to try. Therefore, I'm gonna make it happen. And I will make sure that I let it happen. Slowly, but surely. Someday, I'll get there. I'll be where I wanna be. I'll be doing what I wanna do.
If only I knew how things were gonna turn out, I guess I wouldn't have done the same. If saying out our feelings were gonna change things, I wish I hadn't. I wish I didn't. Oh well. Nothing's happened. But why does it feel like everything's gone wrong? I don't know what to do, or what I should do right now... This sucks.
Shall go shower and hit the sack since I'm meeting A for gym later. Gotta sleep earlier in case I can't wakey. And I should start showering earlier from now on lol (if that's even possible). Goodbye March, and goodnight world.
Anyway, I feel kinda stressed up even though there's nothing for me to be stressed about. Weird, isn't it? But I guess I'm prolly stressing over whether to quit Marathoners or not. I really wanna start working, if my timetable permits, because I wanna make my dream of travelling to places that I wanna go come true. And in order for that to happen, I have to work to earn enough money before I have the ability to do so. If I'm to take up a part-time job while schooling, it's gonna be draining and taxing enough. I don't think I'll be able to commit to my CCA... which is why I have thoughts of quitting. Actually this isn't the first time since I've had thoughts of quitting. But I didn't. And I know the reason why. Because CCA is the only time we have together. If I'm to quit Marathoners just like that, I wouldn't get to see you anymore. And it makes me reluctant and unwilling to quit just like that. But I no longer find trainings enjoyable... So I really don't know what to do. Sigh. Sometimes I wonder why I wanna make myself so tired from all of these. I guess what I really need is a getaway. After all, running away from everything is what I do best. There are so many places in the world that I wanna go, that I wanna explore. I don't wanna be trapped here in this tiny place which is only represented on the map by a little dot for the rest of my life. I believe there are many more things out there for me to see, for me to feel, for me to experience and for me to try. Therefore, I'm gonna make it happen. And I will make sure that I let it happen. Slowly, but surely. Someday, I'll get there. I'll be where I wanna be. I'll be doing what I wanna do.
If only I knew how things were gonna turn out, I guess I wouldn't have done the same. If saying out our feelings were gonna change things, I wish I hadn't. I wish I didn't. Oh well. Nothing's happened. But why does it feel like everything's gone wrong? I don't know what to do, or what I should do right now... This sucks.
Shall go shower and hit the sack since I'm meeting A for gym later. Gotta sleep earlier in case I can't wakey. And I should start showering earlier from now on lol (if that's even possible). Goodbye March, and goodnight world.
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