lacklustre
Tuesday, 23 May 2017
just finished 13 reasons why today and i must say that this series has reminded and taught me many things. poor clay, but you know what? i guess at the end of the day, everybody has their own secrets. things that they don't want others to know, simply just to protect their reputation or whatsoever. i'm just kinda glad that i managed to complete the series. okay, moving on. some people seriously have to stop shoving things down others' throats. it can be so suffocating, and it may affect that person alot without you knowing. i don't get how some people can just do things without putting themselves in the shoes of that person. like seriously? it's their life after all, you don't really get to have a say in it. so stop getting yourself so involved in their life and stop pinpointing them of their actions, because who are you to act so self-righteous to be judging them for their decisions? just like what hannah said, you never really know what's going on in someone else's life, even if you think you do. because do you really? anyway, putting that aside. happy 7th <3 can't wait for kbbq later since i've been craving for it since forever (although i'm feeling fat right now). should totally be working out soon. but that's what i always say so... we shall see i guess. haha.
Thursday, 2 March 2017
okay, wow. my last post was almost a year ago. so, I've been reading back on all my old posts and so much has changed. I'm now unofficially a poly graduate, about to fly to tw for my grad trip, happily attached to someone whom I've never thought I'll ever end up with, quitting the uss job, stopped being friends with some people, turning 21 this year, amd growing up a whole lot faster than i expected. can't believe 2 months of 2017 are gone already. wonder what's in stored for me in the remaining upcoming months. excited, yet scared at the same time too. hopefully zj won't enlist anytime soon so that we can spend more time together. i love you, hehe. thanks for bringing light and sunshine into my world of darkness, can't be anymore grateful and thankful to have you in my life. thank you, my pillar of support. i know that i can always fall back on you if i face any hardships out there. here's to the forever and always that we've long dreamt of, x.
Sunday, 17 April 2016
Attended A's 21st birthday party earlier on and it was my very first time attending somebody's 21st party. It's been a really long time since I've last seen A and I thought it was gonna be awkward but I think it turned out pretty alright. Honestly, I was quite shocked when I was invited bcos we haven't been talking ever since we parted ways from GM, but I guess I was invited cos of L but it didn't really matter. Pretty glad that I went and it was definitely good to see A again. We've all definitely grown up and changed so much, both physically and as a person. Lost some weight, dressing up more and becoming more lady-like, and more matured. Been scrolling through Instagram and my feed has been filled with 21st celebrations lately but attending one made me feel really old. Like wow, I've reached the age whereby I'm going for people's 21st celebration. Soon enough it's gonna be wedding invitations and baby showers invitations, right? The rate that time is passing by is really scary, I just can't stop repeating this. But anyway, attending A's 21st today made me confirm that I wouldn't wanna hold a party for my 21st. So much preparations have to be done, it's gonna expensive, and most importantly it's gonna be really tiring and awkward for everyone since different group of friends wouldn't know each other and I'll have to be the one going around to make sure everybody's entertained and not neglected. It's just really tough. I think I'll most probably just celebrate individually with my different group of friends. Sigh, can't believe it's gonna be my turn next year. Don't even wanna think about it since the thought of turning twenty soon is daunting enough already. Should really sleep soon since there's work tomorrow... Well then, that's it for now.
“And so they say, 21st birthday party invitation is a very good reflection and indication of whether you're gonna get their wedding invitation in the future or not.” ....... How true.
“And so they say, 21st birthday party invitation is a very good reflection and indication of whether you're gonna get their wedding invitation in the future or not.” ....... How true.
Wednesday, 13 April 2016
It's been long since I've last updated, so here I am :'-)
Reading my old posts made me realise how fast time really passes by and it's starting to scare me a lot. So much has happened in the last 7 months since I've stopped updating this space, and yep, here I am now - back from OITP, done with Year 2, and a few more days till I'm starting Year 3. I can't believe it's my final year in SP already. Feels like I'm just a freshie, y'know. Anyway, nothing much has happened recently. Just getting by with my usual mundane, yet hectic life. Been so busy with work ever since I got back from Aus. But yay bcos I managed to earn quite a bit, which is good since my trip to BKK is finally happening in June!!!!!!! It feels really nice and good to be able to earn some money for myself bcos I'll be spending my own money on things that I wanna get, and I'll be able to save up to go overseas and stuff. And also for me to feel rich when I think of the amount of assets that I have heheh (not that it's a lot but it's good enough).
Feeling pretty stressed up about what's to come bcos my timetable suck big time for the upcoming semester. And the thought of FYP pretty much kills too. Not sure if I'll still be able to commit for work with this crazy semester but I shall see how things go. The thought of graduating next year and enrolling into uni REALLY, really scares me quite a bit. But it's still gonna happen anyway so.... I guess I shall just focus on the present for now. No point worrying about the future either.
It's been getting pretty bad again these days, but I'm really thankful for those who stayed in my life bcos at times I think I seriously suck so bad that even I can't tolerate myself. When will I be able to become the person that I wanna be? Hopefully soon. Well, they say you have to lie to yourself until it happens. Or rather, until you believe and make it happen.
Can't imagine how bad it'll be once school officially starts, but we shall see how things go. Positive vibes, positive vibes. C'mon Fel, you can do this. Jiayou~!
Thursday, 10 September 2015
Caught Inside Out today (like a finally!?!?!?!) and I gotta say that it's really so damn freaking good. I wasn't disappointed at all??? I don't get why some said that it isn't really that good though. But to me it is SUPER AWESOME. Damn touching too!!! Gotta say that it's my top favourite Disney Pixar movie of all time right now please, seriously. HOW CAN ANYONE NOT WATCH AND LOVE IT??? Go and reflect please. Kidding :')
I love how relatable this movie is, and it somehow make me wonder if these characters really exist in our heads. Well, they probably do, perhaps somewhere in Imaginary Land and Dream Productions? Yea. The part where Joy realised that without Sadness, there wouldn't be her really made me realise that they pretty much go hand-in-hand together. I guess that's what people meant by without ups and downs in our life, we are pretty much 'dead'. Yea, I understand now. And the part where Riley's imaginary friend sacrificed himself just so that Joy could return back to the HQ, was so damn touching. I cried at that part :-( how brave and selfless of him. I guess in order to really experience Joy, some sacrifices have to be made, and Sadness has to be accepted. I really lavaaaaaa this movie so much ㅠㅠ wanted to catch Scorch Trials as well but there wasn't many seats left, and we totally forgot that it's a PH eve today, so the tixs were much more expensive cos there isn't student price :-( sad. But it's okay! At least I got to spend quality time with my bby hehe :') no much money can compare the time we had spent together today man.
And yaaaaaa, I feel kinda guilty for spending so much today. But it's okay, no regrets actually. Just gotta tell myself to work harder so that I can earn more money, and to spend less so that I can save more~!
Been feeling kinda happy lately, and I hope this continues :-) shall go take a shower and turn in early since there's work tmr! YES, I SHOULD TOTALLY BE SLEEPING EARLIER AND MORE COS MY EYEBAGS ARE REALLY GETTING FROM BAD TO WORSE... SOMEBODY HELP ME PLEASE. I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER ㅠㅠ
I love how relatable this movie is, and it somehow make me wonder if these characters really exist in our heads. Well, they probably do, perhaps somewhere in Imaginary Land and Dream Productions? Yea. The part where Joy realised that without Sadness, there wouldn't be her really made me realise that they pretty much go hand-in-hand together. I guess that's what people meant by without ups and downs in our life, we are pretty much 'dead'. Yea, I understand now. And the part where Riley's imaginary friend sacrificed himself just so that Joy could return back to the HQ, was so damn touching. I cried at that part :-( how brave and selfless of him. I guess in order to really experience Joy, some sacrifices have to be made, and Sadness has to be accepted. I really lavaaaaaa this movie so much ㅠㅠ wanted to catch Scorch Trials as well but there wasn't many seats left, and we totally forgot that it's a PH eve today, so the tixs were much more expensive cos there isn't student price :-( sad. But it's okay! At least I got to spend quality time with my bby hehe :') no much money can compare the time we had spent together today man.
And yaaaaaa, I feel kinda guilty for spending so much today. But it's okay, no regrets actually. Just gotta tell myself to work harder so that I can earn more money, and to spend less so that I can save more~!
Been feeling kinda happy lately, and I hope this continues :-) shall go take a shower and turn in early since there's work tmr! YES, I SHOULD TOTALLY BE SLEEPING EARLIER AND MORE COS MY EYEBAGS ARE REALLY GETTING FROM BAD TO WORSE... SOMEBODY HELP ME PLEASE. I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER ㅠㅠ
Sunday, 6 September 2015
Should I, or should I not? I guess decision-making is really not my thing. The more choices I have, the more confused I get. Probably bcos somehow, I'll always end up making the wrong decision :-/
Going for overseas internship (OITP) has perhaps always been a dream of mine ever since I went to Poly. Especially to Yale University in the States. And guess what? Yale is one of the choices for OITP this year once again. To be very honest, going to Yale has always been a dream of mine. But nah, I have to be practical. It's too far. It's too expensive. And in Jan it'll be winter. Meaning that I've gotta spend extra money just on winter clothes, how practical is that? Furthermore, USD conversion rate has always been high :-/ everything's so not in my favour.
However, on the list, I saw Murdoch Children Research Institute, University of Melbourne being offered as one of the choices. Unlike Yale, everything seemed to be in my favour. It's not too far away since it's just Australia. It's not that expensive, pretty much still affordable. And in Jan it'll be summer. Hot, just like SG. Or even hotter. But that's okay. At least having to wear less is better than having to wear more, isn't it? Furthermore, I've been to Australia before. Although not Melbourne. And yea, AUD conversion rate has dropped to 1:1. Well, there about.
So many thoughts have been going through my head for the past few days ever since I went for the talk. Okay, it was more like a briefing. Money is a main concern, but it isn't really that much of an issue I guess. I don't really know what's holding me back. And yea, it's a good and rare opportunity, definitely. But the thought of having to spend 10 weeks, or rather 11, in a foreign country, is rather daunting. Imagine having to go there all alone, without anyone alongside. And I'll have to spend New Year's eve, New Year's and Chinese New Year alone over there too. How lonely :-(
So should I, or should I not? Zzz, I really don't know. But so far, everyone has been telling me to just try for it, and just go if I can. I guess I shall not think too much and just try for the interview, right? If I so happen to fail the interview, I don't even have to worry anymore, aha. Meh. Alright, shall go with my gut feeling... Hopefully this time round, I'll make a decision that I'll not regret.
Just gonna hope for the best.
Going for overseas internship (OITP) has perhaps always been a dream of mine ever since I went to Poly. Especially to Yale University in the States. And guess what? Yale is one of the choices for OITP this year once again. To be very honest, going to Yale has always been a dream of mine. But nah, I have to be practical. It's too far. It's too expensive. And in Jan it'll be winter. Meaning that I've gotta spend extra money just on winter clothes, how practical is that? Furthermore, USD conversion rate has always been high :-/ everything's so not in my favour.
However, on the list, I saw Murdoch Children Research Institute, University of Melbourne being offered as one of the choices. Unlike Yale, everything seemed to be in my favour. It's not too far away since it's just Australia. It's not that expensive, pretty much still affordable. And in Jan it'll be summer. Hot, just like SG. Or even hotter. But that's okay. At least having to wear less is better than having to wear more, isn't it? Furthermore, I've been to Australia before. Although not Melbourne. And yea, AUD conversion rate has dropped to 1:1. Well, there about.
So many thoughts have been going through my head for the past few days ever since I went for the talk. Okay, it was more like a briefing. Money is a main concern, but it isn't really that much of an issue I guess. I don't really know what's holding me back. And yea, it's a good and rare opportunity, definitely. But the thought of having to spend 10 weeks, or rather 11, in a foreign country, is rather daunting. Imagine having to go there all alone, without anyone alongside. And I'll have to spend New Year's eve, New Year's and Chinese New Year alone over there too. How lonely :-(
So should I, or should I not? Zzz, I really don't know. But so far, everyone has been telling me to just try for it, and just go if I can. I guess I shall not think too much and just try for the interview, right? If I so happen to fail the interview, I don't even have to worry anymore, aha. Meh. Alright, shall go with my gut feeling... Hopefully this time round, I'll make a decision that I'll not regret.
Just gonna hope for the best.
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